


Fuck Spiders

by mikkimouse



Series: Tumblr Fics [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Derek hates spiders, Gen, M/M, Spiders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-11
Updated: 2014-12-11
Packaged: 2018-03-01 00:41:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2753189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikkimouse/pseuds/mikkimouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off this Tumblr prompt from <a href="http://badmooonrising.tumblr.com/post/103332965680/imagine-the-following-au-theres-a-huge-ass">badmoonrising</a>: There’s a huge ass spider in my bedroom and I’ve no idea where it hid, so I’m camping outside my apartment. And that’s how my hot neighbor finds me, sitting on the corridor in my pajamas and a sleep bag.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fuck Spiders

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [Jodidas Arañas](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4299612) by [EarlofKashale](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EarlofKashale/pseuds/EarlofKashale)



Derek hates spiders. HATES them. Yes, he's aware that he's a werewolf, which means he's immune to any venom they could inject in him. And he's aware that he's six feet tall with an array of hiking boots and paper towels and magazines at his disposal, and the spiders are... well, smaller.

He knows it's ridiculous. He really does. But he still fucking hates spiders.

It's the only thing Derek dislikes about his apartment. The complex is right by a wooded area with tons of trails crisscrossing it, perfect for running both as his exercise and on the full moons.

The only problem is that, because of the location, there are--occasionally--spiders. 

Like tonight. Tonight Derek was just about to go to bed when he saw the frankly GIGANTIC grass spider scuttle across his bedroom floor and disappear under the dresser. Or at least, he'd thought it disappeared under the dresser. When he looked, he couldn't find it. 

And there was no way he was sleeping in his bed if there was even the slightest chance of a spider sharing said bed with him. 

So he'd gone into the living room, intending to crash on the couch and hunt down the spider in the morning, only to see another spider--this one with a fucking egg sac on its back--scrambling over the floor and into a corner. When Derek tried to smash it, he only succeeded in popping the egg sac, getting little baby spiders all over his living room.

Which is why Derek's now on his balcony, curled up in a sleeping bag and growling angrily at the sliding glass door protecting him from the spiders who have taken over his apartment. 

Fuck spiders. He has finals this week; he doesn't need this. 

"Hey, man, camping out?" 

No. Oh, God, no, this can't be happening. 

Derek slowly turns and looks down to see Stupidly Cute Neighbor standing beneath his balcony and grinning. He wants to die. 

Stupidly Cute Neighbor lives in the apartment below Derek's, dresses almost exclusively in plaid shirts and graphic tees, and has big brown Bambi eyes that made Derek trip over his own feet the first time he saw them. Plus, he rambles constantly every time Derek sees him by the mailbox, or the trashcan, or when he's out on his porch and Derek's out on his balcony, and Derek's maybe managed to get four words in edgewise in the six months they've lived next to each other. He's infuriating. 

Derek kind of wants to lick him all over his body and fuck him into the mattress. Or just take him out for coffee and watch Star Wars afterward. Really, he could go either way. 

Right now, Stupidly Cute Neighbor is rocking back and forth on his heels, eyebrows raised at Derek. Oh, right. There was a question.

"Um," Derek says, because he's a terrible liar even when he has time to prepare, worse when he's put on the spot, "yes. I'm camping." 

Stupidly Cute Neighbor throws back his head and laughs. Derek wants to suck on the pale skin of his neck. A lot. 

"Kind of cold for it, isn't it?" Stupidly Cute Neighbor says. "Or, I guess it doesn't bother you, because you're a werewolf, right?" 

It is cold. Derek huddles into his sleeping bag, trying to conserve heat. "No. I mean, yes, I'm a werewolf, but no, we don't all run hot."

_Good job, Derek. You sound so intelligent. That's going to make Stupidly Cute Neighbor swoon._  He should go back into the apartment and take his chances with the spiders. 

Stupidly Cute Neighbor shoves his hands into his back pockets, still rocking back and forth. "So why are you in a sleeping bag on your balcony when it's supposed to get below freezing tonight?" 

"I'm communing with nature," Derek growls, because there's no way he can admit that he's not sharing his apartment with spiders. They can have the damn place, as far as he's concerned. 

"And I think you're full of shit." Stupidly Cute Neighbor turns his Bambi eyes into the biggest fucking puppy dog eyes Derek's ever seen. "Come on. You can tell me. I won't tell a soul." 

Oh God. Derek can't handle this. He buries his face in his sleeping bag and only just peeks out. "You'll laugh." 

"I won't laugh. Promise." Stupidly Cute Neighbor draws an X on his chest. "Cross my heart and hope to die." 

Derek can't believe he's going to say this. "There are spiders."

There's a pause. "Spiders," Stupidly Cute Neighbor repeats. 

"I don't like spiders," Derek grumbles. 

Stupidly Cute Neighbor has his teeth digging into his lower lip so hard it's turning white. "So your solution was to come outside, on your balcony, where the spiders actually live?"

Okay, so _maybe_ he hadn't thought about that, and now Derek is going to die of mortification. He tries to sink further into his sleeping bag. "You said you wouldn't laugh." 

"I'm not laughing, I swear, I'm trying not to fucking _coo_ , oh my God." Stupidly Cute Neighbor claps his hands over his mouth. "Seriously, dude, you're a big bad werewolf cuddled up in a sleeping bag with your little beanie pulled down over your ears and pouting about spiders and it's the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life." 

A lot of words have been applied to him, but "cute" has never been one of them. Derek might be goggling. "I'm not cute!" 

Stupidly Cute Neighbor squeaks then, but it doesn't sound like a squeak of fear. His amber eyes are still sparkling with a large amount of mirth, all of it at Derek's expense. 

"Okay look, how about this." Stupidly Cute Neighbor holds up his phone. "You come crash on my couch tonight, and tomorrow we call my buddy Isaac and he can come spray your place. He's a wolf too, so he's got the stuff that doesn't stink so bad."

Derek blinks. "You don't even know my name." 

Stupidly Cute Neighbor smiles. It's a little blinding. "True enough. I'm Stiles. What's your name?" 

"Derek."

"Well, Derek, why don't you come on down to my place?" Stiles gestures to the door. "I'll make you the hot beverage of your choice--as long as your hot beverage of choice is coffee or hot chocolate--and you can tell me all about the eeeeevil spiders taking over your apartment." 

Derek tries to glare, but he's pretty sure it fails. "You're not funny." 

"Oh, buddy, I'm _hilarious_." Stiles fucking _winks_ at him. "As you'll find out." 

***

Derek doesn't go back to his apartment for almost a week. That may have less to do with the spiders and more to do with how hilarious (and snuggly, and sexy, and sweet) Stiles actually is.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on [Tumblr](http://mad-madam-m.tumblr.com/post/104686694098/badmooonrising-imagine-the-following-au).
> 
> I'm mad-madam-m on [Tumblr](http://mad-madam-m.tumblr.com) & [Twitter](https://twitter.com/mad_madam_m). Come flail about Sterek with me.


End file.
